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A man walks into a dimly lit bar and the bartender asks him, “Why is the front of your shirt all bloody?” His customer answers in...
The tourist in London climbed into a cab and noticed by the license that his cab driver’s name was Winston Churchill. Trying to make conversation, he...
A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner. The price of a pretzel was 25 cents. Every day a young man would leave his...
Three old men were talking about how much their hands shook. The first old guy said, “My hands shake so bad, that when I shaved his...
A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said “Chopsticks...
The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a series of jokes he’d heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that...
Two guys were discussing life in general over drinks one night. “My grandfather lived to be 96.” “Ninety-six? What finally got him?” “Liquor and women.” “Well,...
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off...
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a...
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. “Davy, what noise...
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and went over...
It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class. The teacher told the class that each student could tell the class one...
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends. Brunette: “Last night I had three peak in a row!” Blonde: “That’s nothing; last night I had...
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh, right up...
An Irishman’s been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls...
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present...
