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Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, “Did Santa get you that?” “Yes,” replies the little girl. “Well tell him to put a reflector...
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in talking in an interesting accent. So I said, “Cool accent, are...
Suddenly she loses consciousness and you take her to a hospital This is stress the hospital you are being told that she is pregnant and doctors...
A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts...
When a very tired man got on a crowded bus one afternoon, he could not find an empty seat. A small dog was sitting on one...
As an airplane is about to crash a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like...
A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic?” The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d...
A Cowboy Appeared before st. Peter at the Pearly Gates. “have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked. “Well I can think of...
One day different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge. The brain said “I do all the thinking...
A Lorry driver is driving 200 penguins to London Zoo when his Lorry breaks down on the motorway. The driver gets out of the cab and...
A man was driving at 80 kph one day when he was passed by a 3-legged chicken. He accelerated and passed the chicken. Three minutes later...
This one will perhaps only be good for your more advanced students. A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a drink.The barman...
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, “You must take...
There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic...
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather...
Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp. They rub it, and a genie appears. “I have three wishes, so...
