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A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for...
A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road...
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what’s wrong. “Well,” replies Paul, “you...
A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, “What’s...
Two men got out of their cars after they collided at an intersection. One took a flask from his pocket and said to the other, “Here,...
A woman goes into a dentist’s office, and after her examination, the dentist says, I’m sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have...
A man sits down at a bar and orders a double martini. After he finishes, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders another. After he...
An English teacher reminds her students of the written test in her class tomorrow: “Now, I don’t want anyone to miss this important finals exam! I...
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, “You can’t drive around...
A man traveling by train asks the ticket collector what time the train stops at Victoria. “Sir, we don’t stop at Victoria.” “But I have to...
A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. “I’m shocked!” she complained. “This is three times what you normally charge.” “Yes, I know,”...
A guy goes into a drugstore to buy rubber pack. “What size?” asks the clerk. “Gee, I don’t know.” “Go see Sophie in aisle 4.” He...
A man hasn’t been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor comes out with the results. “I’m afraid...
Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face...
A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on. One driver, an extremely elderly woman,...
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man...
