A sailor brings his boat up to a restaurant dock to eat lunch.
The dock hand says, “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t let you dine here today.
This establishment has a necktie policy, and you are not wearing one.”
“Of course I don’t have a tie on,” replied the sailor, “I’m on a boat!”
“Well, go down below and put one on,” said the dock hand.
“I don’t HAVE one!” shouted the sailor.
The dock hand, not wanting to turn away a customer, said: “Well, why don’t you just find something that approximates a tie. That should be OK.”
After some time, the sailor comes out with a pair of jumper cables.
“This is all I could find to put around my neck,” he said.
Sighing, the dock hand said: “OK, I’ll let you in with those, but just don’t start anything.”