A man is driving home one night while very aroused.
As he is passing a pumpkin patch, he thinks to himself,
“Pumpkins are soft and squishy and there’s no one around for miles.
He pulls over and pulls out a juicy pumpkin, cuts the appropriate hole in it and begins to slake his desires.
Soon he’s really into it and doesn’t notice the police car pulling up.
The cop pulls up and says, “Excuse me sir, do you realize you’re scre**ing a pumpkin?”
The man looks at the cop in complete horror and says,
“A pumpkin?! Damn is it midnight already?”