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One day, a wife came home early

 

One day, a wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

Naturally, she was very upset. “You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried.

“How dare you do this to me! I’m a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you.

I want a divorce right away!” The husband replied, “Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.”

“Go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”So the husband began,

“Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift.

She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night.

The ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight.

The poor thing devoured them in moments! Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that,

I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.

I found the classy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her.

I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair the same.”

The husband took a quick breath and continued,

“She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said…”

“Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?

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